Reflections

There’s something that I just absolutely love about the last week of the year. It’s so nostalgic, yet the increasing anticipation of the year that is about to arrive is like none other. I love this time of year because I get to reflect on how the past year was and make goals and resolutions for the new year.

2013 was…wow. It definitely had it’s ups and downs. I got my first car as well as my first job. I completed my freshman year of college in May of this year. I took my first set of college summer classes. I made my first college friend. But in 2013, I also lost my first job and got my first car taken away from me. I lost some of the friends who I thought were forever.

2013 was mostly a year of self reflection for me. I learned so much about who I am and who I want to become. I became a little bit more self confident during this past year. And even though I grew a lot, I realized that I have so much more growing up to do. I learned that the growing process is a never ending one. I am constantly changing and becoming the woman who I am meant to be. I don’t ever want this to stop though. I love growing and changing and developing and learning. I’m constantly becoming a better person and I love it.

I don’t really like setting resolutions per se, but I do like setting some guidelines and goals for the upcoming year.

I think my first and most important goal is to be happier than I was in 2013. Not to say that I was unhappy this year, but I want to just be happier. No, that’s not the word I’m looking for. I want to be joyful. “Happiness may be momentary and may not last for a long time… [Happiness] is caused by reasons that may not influence long term contentment. Joy on the other hand is more related to the inner self and may last for a longer period of time.” I want to be in a constant state of happiness and satisfaction. I don’t want my circumstances/situations to determine my state of being. I’ve always been like this but I want to change that.

I also want to be able to rely on myself. I don’t want to have to ask mommy and daddy for everything that I may want or need. I’m going to be 20 years old in April and it’s high time that I start acting like an adult. Sometimes I still think of myself as a young girl and I think that is holding me back. Once I start treating myself like an adult, I believe I can reach my full potential. Mom and Dad aren’t always going to be there to hold my hand and give me what I need. I have to be able to start taking care of myself. So my goal is to get a permanent job and save the majority of the money that I earn. This way, if I ever need (need!!something, I can provide for myself. I also want to learn how to manage my money. This has been a crippling weakness of mine.

I also want to start taking better care of my body. I don’t need to workout everyday, but 2-3 times a week is something that I can do. I just want to be healthy. So many people always say that I’m healthy and in great shape because I’m thin. But the truth is, I’m underweight and 97% of the time, I eat gross, unhealthy junk. I want to eat healthier and become more active.

Another thing that I want to do is start surrounding myself with positive people who will motivate me to do my very best in life. I don’t have very many friends and the ones I do have are not positive at all. They don’t encourage me or lift me up or any of that. I want to find people who want to succeed and live a positive, influential life.

And my last but most important is to continue to work on my spirituality. That’s an area of my life that I’ve been neglecting for about the past 2 years and I need to fix that.

There is a lot in store for me in this upcoming year; I can feel it. I pray that I am ready and that I can learn something from everything that is going to come. I am so ready for this New Year to begin. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a good one.

-Cynthia

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