Why is it that we live in a society where it is unacceptable for people to feel good about themselves?
Whoa! Whoa! Cynthia, what are you even talking about? Clearly, you’re confused!
I mean, think about it. Whenever someone displays even the slightest bit of self confidence, they’re deemed cocky, overly confident, pompous. Have you ever heard someone say, “Damn, I am so smart,” or something along those lines? What was your initial reaction? Most likely “Who does this self righteous jerk think he/she is?” Now let’s flip the script. You hear someone say, “Man I am an idiot!” And what do you do? You think nothing of it. It’s normal. This is how people think. There’s nothing wrong with someone feeling bad about themselves.
Why is that? Why is it okay for someone to feel bad about themselves, but it’s a huge ordeal when they feel good about themselves? Why is it called “bragging” if someone builds themselves up through their words? Why is being humble synonymous with self depreciation?
This reminds of those two scenes in Mean Girls. (Everyone has seen Mean Girls, right? If you haven’t, you have clearly been living under a rock in a giant, dark cave.)
Regina: So, you’re like, really pretty.
Cady: Thanks:)
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you’re really pretty?
Cady: Um…well *uncomfortably fidgets in her seat*
Why couldn’t Cady look Regina in the eye and say “Yea Regina, I actually do think I’m really pretty.” We all know that Regina would have thought Cady was some stuck up new girl who had absolutely no right to feel that way. But why? Why can’t someone go out and say, “I’m really pretty,” without everyone having a conniption.
And the other scene:
Karen: God! My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please, I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I’ve got man shoulders!
Cady’s voice over: I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there’s a lot of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck!
*All turn to Cady expectantly*
Cady: …Um, I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew.
Why are we expected to think poorly about ourselves? And, God forbid, if someone has only good things to say about themselves, they’re too big for their britches and they need to come off their high horse. We need to get out of this mindset. We need to stop thinking that it’s wrong to feel good about ourselves. It’s time we learn to compliment ourselves and build ourselves up through our words and thoughts without feeling guilty about being overly confident and self-absorbed. It’s okay to look in the mirror and say, “I am beautiful/smart/talented/funny/wise”. It’s okay.
I wish that everyone could feel like this. I wish everyone would say positive things about themselves. Today, I’m claiming it: I am beautiful. No, I don’t feel wrong for saying that. I am proud and I will always be.
Much love,
Cynthia
Breathe. 