Reflections

There’s something that I just absolutely love about the last week of the year. It’s so nostalgic, yet the increasing anticipation of the year that is about to arrive is like none other. I love this time of year because I get to reflect on how the past year was and make goals and resolutions for the new year.

2013 was…wow. It definitely had it’s ups and downs. I got my first car as well as my first job. I completed my freshman year of college in May of this year. I took my first set of college summer classes. I made my first college friend. But in 2013, I also lost my first job and got my first car taken away from me. I lost some of the friends who I thought were forever.

2013 was mostly a year of self reflection for me. I learned so much about who I am and who I want to become. I became a little bit more self confident during this past year. And even though I grew a lot, I realized that I have so much more growing up to do. I learned that the growing process is a never ending one. I am constantly changing and becoming the woman who I am meant to be. I don’t ever want this to stop though. I love growing and changing and developing and learning. I’m constantly becoming a better person and I love it.

I don’t really like setting resolutions per se, but I do like setting some guidelines and goals for the upcoming year.

I think my first and most important goal is to be happier than I was in 2013. Not to say that I was unhappy this year, but I want to just be happier. No, that’s not the word I’m looking for. I want to be joyful. “Happiness may be momentary and may not last for a long time… [Happiness] is caused by reasons that may not influence long term contentment. Joy on the other hand is more related to the inner self and may last for a longer period of time.” I want to be in a constant state of happiness and satisfaction. I don’t want my circumstances/situations to determine my state of being. I’ve always been like this but I want to change that.

I also want to be able to rely on myself. I don’t want to have to ask mommy and daddy for everything that I may want or need. I’m going to be 20 years old in April and it’s high time that I start acting like an adult. Sometimes I still think of myself as a young girl and I think that is holding me back. Once I start treating myself like an adult, I believe I can reach my full potential. Mom and Dad aren’t always going to be there to hold my hand and give me what I need. I have to be able to start taking care of myself. So my goal is to get a permanent job and save the majority of the money that I earn. This way, if I ever need (need!!) something, I can provide for myself. I also want to learn how to manage my money. This has been a crippling weakness of mine.

I also want to start taking better care of my body. I don’t need to workout everyday, but 2-3 times a week is something that I can do. I just want to be healthy. So many people always say that I’m healthy and in great shape because I’m thin. But the truth is, I’m underweight and 97% of the time, I eat gross, unhealthy junk. I want to eat healthier and become more active.

Another thing that I want to do is start surrounding myself with positive people who will motivate me to do my very best in life. I don’t have very many friends and the ones I do have are not positive at all. They don’t encourage me or lift me up or any of that. I want to find people who want to succeed and live a positive, influential life.

And my last but most important is to continue to work on my spirituality. That’s an area of my life that I’ve been neglecting for about the past 2 years and I need to fix that.

There is a lot in store for me in this upcoming year; I can feel it. I pray that I am ready and that I can learn something from everything that is going to come. I am so ready for this New Year to begin. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a good one.

-Cynthia

Daily Prompt: Billion Dollar Winner

Today’s Daily Prompt read as follows:

You have just won $1 billion dollars in the local lottery. You do not have to pay tax on your winnings. How will you spend the money?

If I were to win that much money, I would first set aside 10% to give to the Lord. However, 100 million dollars is quite excessive to give to a single church so I would split it up and donate to various churches as well as faith based organizations and charities.

I would then sell our current house and buy my parents a nice, little house in a quiet section of town for just the two of them. My sister and nephew would get their own place and I would get a nice studio apartment/loft/condo or something along those lines.

Next up: education. I would pay for the rest of my college education and my younger sister’s college tuition.

My sisters, my parents, and I would all get new cars.

I can’t forget about my brother who would definitely get a share of my winnings. My relatives wouldn’t be a stranger to the money either. You can clearly see that I’m a firm believer in the motto: “If I made it, we all made it.”

One of my goals in life is to start up a lot of shelters and programs to help the homeless and the poor. Give them a place to stay, food to eat, job training, that sort of thing. So I would make that dream a reality.

The last thing I can think of doing is travelling. I would love to see the world and go explore different places and see what the culture and the people are like. Travelling with my family would be a definite must.

I can’t think of anything I would want more. The majority of the money would go into banks. The outcome always has to be income, right? Of course I would do the usual girly type things: buy more clothes and shoes and jewelry than I would know what to do with; completely satiate my fashion desires. But I think I would be most content helping others, especially family. 

And the biggest and most important thing I would do if I were to ever win that much money? Keep my mouth shut! I wouldn’t want anyone to suddenly start trying to be my friend and get close to me once I hit it big.

Breathe.

From as early as I can remember, I was always on the move. Since the tender age of four years old, I was involved in, what seemed to me, a million and one activities. Everyday was a hectic blur of getting picked up, getting dropped off, eating in the car, changing clothes in public restrooms, running down the streets of downtown Boston, skidding into practice right in the nick of time…you get the gist. I cannot remember a single moment in my early years of life where I wasn’t finishing one project, starting the next, and getting stressed about whatever had to be done in the future.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that taking moments to sit, reflect, and just breathe is so important. And as I have taken more of these moments, I have definitely experienced just how beneficial they are to my mental health and sanity. This the entire reason that I have created this blog. This is a place where I can reflect on the bad, celebrate the good, release, relax, and unwind. A place where there is no worry and no stress. A place where I can breathe. 

So I invite you all to sit back, relax, and breathe.

My name is Cynthia. Welcome to my blog.